More Tory propaganda from the Harald.

Well, as usual  the Harald has decided to demonstrate it's political allegiance to the local Tory party following last week's local elections with THIS STORY.

Yes, apparently Grand Moff Parkin and his mates aren't worried about losing five seats on Adur Council to the UKIPpers, because they only took the "easy seats".

One question springs to mind though, if these seats are so easy to win, why didn't the Parkin gang win them? Oh, because they didn't want them anyway, just like the spoilt kid who can't have any sweeties.

One thing that is a little misleading, is the claim that "in most wards, the conservative vote actually went up compared to last year", as last year it was County elections rather than District, and so the wards are different, this is like comparing apples with oranges. Admittedly their number of votes did increase from 2012s District elections, but that's only because the turnout was up by around 8% this year, so everyone's vote was up, in reality their percentage of votes, (rather than vote count) is actually down.

What is amusing, is the statement that none of the Tories wanted to stand because they didn't want to lose. What an arrogant approach to democracy, it smacks of "I'm going home, and taking my ball with me", and just shows the mettle of the average Adur Tory, who's only interested in a fight if they're guaranteed to win without putting in any effort, after all once elected they do nothing until it's election time again.

I'm a little confused about the claim that they "couldn't even find anyone for Mash Barn", because they clearly did...

.... and they got trounced by UKIP and the Lib Dems. This is just typical of the Parkin gang, reinventing the truth to fit a propaganda story, they seem to have taken advice from that politician and propaganda minister from the middle of the last century who stated that, "if you tell a lie often enough, people will believe it, and you will eventually believe it yourself", this appears to be local Tories' mantra, as the amount of porkies that they bandy about in the press when they are clearly untrue cannot possibly be an accident.

This claim is also rather misleading too.

So, when the Tories went head to head with UKIP they won, What like in Mash Barn? There's also Widewater ward, which the Tories have held for the last 15 years at least, where despite a Tory candidate standing, knocking doors and delivering leaflets, they were beaten by UKIP as well.

Now, I should point out that I am far from a supporter of UKIP, in my opinion and experience they are pretty much the same as the local Tories, after all, they all drink together at the conservative club, but it is really funny watching the two factions arguing over immigration issues, when the only immigration we have here in Adur, is people moving over from Brighton, and the two parties are simply fighting for votes on the issue that they have placed in people's minds, rather than any issues of real importance, but I guess that takes us right back to that German minister's methods.

Just in case you were wondering, in Adur we have a less than 1% immigrant population, which hasn't changed in many years, and the majority of those "laws from Europe" were made up by the Daily Mail and don't actually exist. And while we're at it, ADC does not give any council housing to "asylum seekers" or "illegal immigrants", this is dealt with by the immigration services, controlled by central government and the only people making money from the housing of refugees are private landlords, so if they are claiming housing benefit, this cost could be drastically reduced by introducing rent caps, which ironically neither UKIP or the Tories happen to support on any level.

As for shooting foxes, we all know that our local Tories would much rather hunt them with dogs than shoot them:

From "They work for you"

The fox analogy may work well as a sound bite for a local rag, however in reality it's just another local Tory jumping on the back of a tired metaphor which was meaningless propaganda in the first place.


They shoot horses, don't they?

I CBM

This week's local elections.

Well, we had some elections this week, and as usual it was a Tory fest as usual, even if some tories are now wearing purple ribbons and ditching their transparent façade of acceptance of other lifestyles, cultures, sexuality and ethnicity.

In the run up to the election we were submitted to the usual rhetoric of "what have these people ever done", and "it's about the person, not the party", whilst neglecting to mention that before election nobody knew, or cared who they were, and their political achievements were non existent, not that any of them actually do anything now, because they are controlled by the cabinet system in which they are unable to even discuss something unless their fellow Tory Party members agree.

If the Tories are so keen that we should vote for a person rather than a party, then why don't they stand as independents and not exploit the cash given to the local party from the public purse via Loughton's expenses to rent a desk in their office, to the tune of £700 a month? 

So, what dodgy actions did we witness this time?

Well, first off we had this...

Yes, some large banners stuck in the centre of town, within the local "conservation area", without any form of planning permission, which would clearly be required to install any signage within this protected area, even temporary signage.

There was obviously no planning permission sought by the owners of this protected building (The Toll House), and even if there was, there would be a bit of a problem as pretty much all of the planning committee are fellow Tories and so would have to declare an interest and decline to vote on this issue.

These banners were also an unfair advantage in a free and fair democracy, as all of the other candidates were not offered equal signage within the protected conservation area that makes up a large majority of the electoral ward.

The other thing that should be noted is the lack of an "Imprint" on this banner as required by the electoral commission.

This is the law, and needs to be adhered to in order to ensure that an election is fair and transparent, and any breach of this is a criminal act. As you can clearly see from the banner, there is no "imprint" identifying the promoter and printer, and so we have anther breach of the law in order to attain an unfair advantage in a supposedly free and fair election process.

By rights, Mendoza should have been arrested and charged with this offence, and excluded from the election as a result of breaching electoral law. So in effect Mendoza is not truly the elected Councillor for St Mary's ward, and should be stripped of this title immediately, either awarding the post to the second place candidate, or re-running the election for this ward.

But ADC don't bother with little details like this and so he will remain in post for another four years of his homophobia, racism and misogyny in the form of shit "jokes" straight form he 1970s.

Who else got elected? Oh yes, Emma Evans.

So, Evans doesn't have "donors", instead she invites people to her home who give her money to run her election campaign. I think that the word normally used for these people is "donors", as they "donate" money to a prospective councillor, in order to fund a campaign to secure election.

In my opinion, (and to some degree the law states that) these donors should be fully disclosed on a register of interests in order to ensure that the councillor, whose election campaign they assisted in funding, is not involved in any matters concerning them or any business in which they have a direct interest.

Yes, if we don't know who's funding her via her "coffee mornings", we cannot be sure that they are not buying and applying undue influence over our elected representatives. This is a basic cornerstone of democracy, one which ADC seem to discard along with other basic tenets of democracy, like keeping an up to date register of members pecuniary interests.

It's always good to end on a humorous note, so I'll throw in Evans' rant published in the Harald.

Yes, after banging on about people not voting for a party but an individual, she has a pop at people who voted for someone from a different party to her own, no mention on whether the individual concerned had and local policies, or whether she even attempted to look for any, not that if they did have some, that they would be able to do anything under the cabinet system in place, where only Tory party members can speak or have any input into decisions.

So, after winning by a safe majority, she throws her toys out of the pram claiming that her opponent was an "extremist", despite it being her own party who is trying to sell off the NHS and is responsible for the bedroom tax and freezing and starving poor people all over the country, that's pretty "extremist" if you ask me, and this whole rant simply reeks of a spoilt bitch whose majority is diminishing and she doesn't like competition.

Anyway, if it's about "local policies", then where the hell have our local council gone (Worthing), and what's happening to our local hospital, (sold to housing developers by the Tories). These people might care about dog shit and parking on the pavement, but couldn't give a damn about things that actually matter. Oh well, they get their money all the same, s why should they care?

Can't wait for the tantrums at the first council meeting after the loss of five Tory seats though.

Don't believe the lies, & don't trust the liars.

I CBM

Adur & Worthing's new recycling policy.

This week's Harald has surpassed itself with it's choice to blindly promote the local council in whatever pathetic venture they try to promote, and as usual the only thing they are promoting is themselves.

Story here

Yes, it appears that the council's recycling policy now includes the recycling of shit 70s jokes instead of consigning them to landfill where they truly deserve to be.

The only thing funny about this pair's "act" is that they believe it's funny. Now if this was a character comedy about a couple of old farts who think they're funny when in fact they are just living in a past that never was, that might work, but sadly these two are the real life "Smashie and Nicey" or "Crème Brulee" of the comedy world.

What is funny, is that they seem to think that they are similar to "Morecambe and Wise", well, there are two of them......... No, sorry can't spot any other similarities I'm afraid. These two are more like the embarrassing drunk relative at a family wedding, who seems to believe that the awkward laughter they receive is somehow a sign of their "obvious" comedy genius, when in fact they are still telling the same "jokes" that you never found funny in 1978.

Talking of 1978, I did actually laugh when reading this story, as when it claims that Mendo is using "material...gleamed from constituents' letters", I assume that he hopped in a time machine back to 1978 and plagiarised material from someone like Jasper Carrot (possibly, I think that he did these originally along with the "real" insurance claims) who wrote these jokes the first time around.

Suggesting that people may have heard these "jokes" before is an understatement, as a quick Google search suggests.

Yes, at least 16,400 people have "heard it before", I wonder if they're recycling the one about the man next door's "unsightly erection" or the one about the kid next door who's constantly "banging his balls against the wall"? They were part of the original script if I recall correctly.

The idea of a stand up comedy duo who don't actually write any material and rely on thinking that they are funny, rather tan actually being funny, is a nightmare, and I suggest that anyone booking them make sure to search the audience for tomatoes before they go on, although if Mendoza's history of violence and abuse is anything to go by, I expect that they may well make front page news when a heckler is punched or racially abused.

All that said, there is still room for comedy in politics, I spoke to Dennis Skinner the other week, and the man is a comedy genius (as well as a very well respected politician), check out some of his quotes, you won't be disappointed, and it's all original material too, shot straight from the hip.

TTFO
I CBM