The Harald provided us with this fantastic story;
Now, the fact that they are purposely avoiding using the term "footbridge" is quite telling that they wish to encourage people to not use this word. What the f*ck is a "walk bridge"? maybe it was a spelling mistake and they pressed "L" instead of "N".
Let's have a look at the proposed names:
"The Queen Elizabeth the 2nd Golden Jubilee Bridge".
Get real, do you really expect people to have to call a bridge by a name that is almost as long as the f*cking bridge itself it? There is also the little matter of this being last year and so to be accurate would have to include the word "coronation" between "2nd" and "Jubilee", which would make the name even bloody longer. Stupid idea.
"Coronation Bridge".
Yes, it goes from "Coronation Green" across the river, but unless Queenie kicks the bucket in the next couple of months, this name would be a little silly to name a brand new bridge after an event that occurred 61 years ago. Another stupid idea, although coronation chicken and coronation street seem to be quite popular.
"Adur Ferry Bridge".
There was indeed a ferry before the bridge was there, but what the f*ck is a "ferry bridge"? (a quick google informs me that it's a small village in Yorkshire) Again stupid.
"The De Haura Bridge"
This one is a little confusing, is this "haura" from the middle English translation of harbour, from the Dutch "havre", or from the Basque word for children? Either way the inclusion of the word "de" following "the" is grammatically incoherent it would clearly need to be either one or the other, or the word "bridge" would need to be placed earlier in the name, which would make it sound all foreign and so upset all the immigrant hating local Tories and UKIPpers. This one's just a f*cking minefield of all kinds of stupid.
"The Jubilee Bridge".
Yes, let's celebrate Liz's 61st Jubilee, or just celebrate that Shoreham is a year behind the rest of the country. There is always the possibility that the whole royalist theme is merely in order to attempt to lure a minor royal down for the opening ceremony, would our Councillors be that transparent? Stupid idea.
Why not just accept that the people of Shoreham will call it "The Footbridge", they have always called it the footbridge, they will always call it the footbridge. It's a bridge that you cross on foot (and occasionally on bicycles) it's a f*cking FOOTBRIDGE. What is so wrong with that?
But hey, the Tories wouldn't miss the opportunity to put a bit of spin on a simple matter, after all without spin they would just be UKIP/BNP/EDL.
I'm off to the beach, I'll have to get the bus replacement service because "The Queen Elizabeth The Second, Dei Gratia Regina, Fidei Defensor, Coronation Golden Jubilee, and 61st Jubilee of ascension to the throne of Great Britain, Ireland and the British Dominions beyond the Seas Bridge, where there used to be a ferry" Isn't open for another couple of months yet, what a bind.......
Kieran
