ART?

It's amazing what passes for art these days. I'm not talking about the Emins and Hirsts of the art world, at least they're original in their concepts whether I like them or not. I'm talking about this....

Was this in the "Humorous category"? It should have been, unless of course they had a "Shit category", because it certainly would have topped that group. What a load of crap, I wouldn't even put it on the fridge if my kid painted it.

What is it with these Tories and their 80's style pastel shades, I'm colour blind and even I would advise anyone against wearing horrendous colours like this out in public.

ATAB
K

Twitter

Further to my previous post about Twitter, I would like to add that I am also on Twitter and can be found @AdurCalling this is not a "professional" twitter account, and in no way is it any more than a means of communicating with other like minded individuals.

I obviously withhold the right to not care what people choose to write to me on there either, and any threats or abuse will be dealt with in the most humorous way available to me at the time, so think very carefully before sharing your innermost thoughts with me, because I may not hold them as dear as you may, after all AdurCalling is not about anything other than cheering myself up and evening an incredibly uneven playing field.

If like some people, you wish to send me abusive messages, don't go crying to mummy when I say something vile in return, I will personally judge how offensive your tweet is to me, and will respond with an equal level of offence if required. If you are in any doubt, just don't bother, I more than likely don't care what you think anyway, and you probably won't want to hear my response either.

I speak nicely to nice people though, feel free to drop by and say hello if you have anything that might make me chuckle.

K

More Tory rubbish in the Harald.

Looking at the Harald website, as I no longer buy the paper due to it's strong allegiance with the local Tories and do not wish to fund their propaganda machine any further, I noticed a letter that made me chuckle.

 Here's an excerpt:

Firstly, I doubt the truth of the leadline, but more to the point the idea that these people are aware that they have the ability to not read things on the internet, and can block people who's online content displeases them, yet they still read my blog and claim to be offended to the point of insisting that I should be arrested and sent directly to jail for exercising my right to free speech.

What made me laugh most of all was the idea that this idiot describes his twitter account as "professional", so he claims that bullshit like this is also "professional;

when in reality it is nothing more than the usual gossip distributed by these thugs, if he wants harassment, he should walk in my shoes for a while, after he has seen his family robbed, slandered, threatened, beaten and told to get out of town, then I'll consider having some sympathy for the tw@, (note that I say "consider", I wouldn't p*ss on any of them were they on fire, so sympathy would be a fair way off).

Anyway, back to this joke of a letter, I cannot see any difference between the rubbish that he posts on arsebook and the lies that he Tweets, as for the claim that his followers are politicians, that would be debatable, although in recent times more and more racists and homophobes are classifying themselves as politicians in order to add credence to their agenda of hate. If his idea of professionalism is spreading hate and lies then he is truly a professional.

His idea that the people he mentions as using twitter accounts somehow backs up his claims that it is a professional form of media interaction, is clearly flawed, as pretty much all of them are idiots like him (note that I have no idea who "Barak Obama" is, I thought that the pres was called BaraCk), who are living in cloud cuckoo land, talk bollocks at a professional level and haven't got a clue how the real world operates. It's funny that he includes himself in this list along with his thuggish mate Mendo, clearly a couple of losers with delusions of grandeur, playing at pretending to be politicians in order to boost their boozing fund and imagined status. From what I've heard, the Tories are planning to drop this idiot like a sack of sh*t at the next election, because he does bugger all apart from drinking heavily and staggering around town in a state of confusion, and anyway, they have another mate who could better do with a slice of our cash in these times of Tory induced poverty.

Enjoy the sunshine, it won't be long before the Tories work out a way to tax it.
ATAB
K

Reply to "story" in the Argus on 13th Jun.

On the 12th of Jun I received a call from a junior hack at the Argus, who was rather aggressive in tone, and seeking a response to a story that he had been provided by none other than ADC's Mike Mendacious, as usual I made it clear that I did not wish to make any comment as this was in relation to an ongoing police investigation regarding Mendoza's unprovoked attack on myself, as usual, the media decided to ignore what I actually said, in favour of a couple of statements that they made up themselves. Next time I get harassed by the press, I think that I'll simply repeat the phrase " You f*ck donkeys", that way they can at least quote something amusing and probably more factually accurate than their usual efforts.

Anyway, here's the story they ran:

Let's have a look at the claims made here; So he was "confronted" was he? Bullsh*t, I was walking through the town where I have lived for longer than any of these w*nkers, when Mendoza approached me, and told me that I should leave town. This was delivered with some physical persuasion to back up his intention.

As I recall, "homophobia" was not mentioned once, but it amuses me that he claims that I am "a bitter and twisted man, who has a vendetta against him and (am) writing abuse and lies online", funny thing is that all I had written about him was true, and the homophobia claims were not made by me, but by a national newspaper, and he was apparently even suspended from his job for it as well, not abuse and lies from me in any, way shape or form.

I am supposed to have "faced him up" am I? well it would have been quite difficult not to when the fact hunt was blocking my way through town and shouting in my face. Of course he was "pleased" that's why he physically blocked my path, if he hadn't I'd have continued on my way and nobody would have had to be inconvenienced by speaking to the police, like Mendoza, who was hauled down the nick for his actions, but he strangely forgot to tell the Argus about this little detail.

I do like the way that these idiots pretend to be outraged by rude words, especially when we have all heard our Tory MP on the Matt Forde Podcast, repeatedly using the words "fuck", "bastards", and "bollocks", they can't be too fragile, if they use these words themselves as freely as this, or is it only swearing in the "lower orders" that is frowned upon?

I do like the other made up quote that is attributed to myself, "You are a Tory, I will write what I want and you will never be able to stop me", anyone who has ever met me would assure you that this is so far from the way that I speak, it's laughable. As for writing what I like, I believe that this is called "free speech" and we have it in this country apparently, it is a basic right that these people seem to think should only be available to them so that people like our MP can call me a "p*key c*nt" and I shouldn't be able to respond. Maybe I should have brought my new statement into play, so that the story could read, "he then said to me, "You f*ck donkeys"" at least then it would have been funny, and possibly more factual than it was originally.

Accompanying this pathetic piece of tabloid journalism was a lovely photo that was supposed to prove beyond doubt that Mendo couldn't possibly be homophobic, (He's the one at the back in the driving seat, so to speak). It looks like he borrowed Lionel Richie's hair for the photo, and Jim Davidson's wardrobe c1978. It is easy to see that he is not homophobic by this photo alone, in the same way that he couldn't possibly be racist if he had his picture taken 40 years ago with a black man.

Nice that I am referred to as a "pathetic little man" by this arse, but I suppose that a pregnant hippo would look "little" next to this tosser, and if not wearing a bog chain round my neck, never cutting ribbons, and not thinking that I am some kind of celebrity, makes me pathetic, the hoo f*cking ray, I'm loving the pathetic life, the fact that these idiots know nothing about my life only makes it funnier.

Oh and did I mention that the author of this piece of tabloid shit is a mate of Mendo's and the story was pretty much dictated by Mendo himself directly. My contact at the Argus informed me that they chose to print his photo in order to demonstrate the idiocy of the man who believed that, despite a clear history of claims about his homophobic attitude, an old picture of him with someone being conspicuously homosexual would somehow prove these claims wrong beyond doubt.

"You f*ck donkeys"
K

You're all bastards!

Well, half of you are apparently, statistically speaking. The BBC told me, so it's official, the worrying thing is the claim that if your parents aren't married at the time of your birth, you're going to grow up to be stupid, crazy and a junkie. What if you're adopted, orphaned or one of you parents dies between conception and birth, would £150 have saved you from your potential fate?

Apparently "Marriage" is the clear answer to the problem of failing schools, mental health issues and substance abuse, this is direct from the mouth of the MP who wants to restrict "Marriage" in order to preserve it's magickal properties, and by these claims it truly is a true wonder, or maybe it's all snake oil, as the only proof of this is a statement made without any factual evidence or statistical proof.

I know an equal number of people whose parents were married at the time of their birth and people who were born out of wedlock, I know people with mental health problems, substance abusers, and some real dummies, most of the worst are from affluent families with married parents, and the people I know brought up by single parents, in unconventional family units, and by same sex couples are some of the most well balanced and accepting people I know, but I live in the real world, not some protected bubble of ignorance.

I like the claim that "Without marriage, people drift in and out of relationships very easily", when you look at the amount of people with several marriages under their belts, it appears that people in marriages can also drift in and out of them pretty easily, and then there's the amount of affairs that go on within "traditional marriage", does lying to your kids make them any more well rounded, and when they find out that dad's been doinking his secretary while mum's been spending a fair amount of time inspecting the gardener's special tool, are they going to believe in the sanctity of marriage, or are they going to look at it as a convenient arrangement, throw in a financial incentive and you've sealed the deal.

There is one plus side though, without marriage there would be a helluva lot of unemployed prostitutes, at least marriage keeps them in work and the unemployment figures down so it can't be all bad.

Enjoy your SaTURDay
K

Adur's "Wall of Shame".

According to the Harald, our civic leaders are planning to piss more money up the wall, quite literally this time.

On first glance I thought that the story was about how Miami Vice stars Crooked and Tubby, had really let themselves go, however it was just another example of how the local Tories refuse to leave the 80's and accept that Thatcher's dead, and pastel shades look hilarious on fat blokes.

Here's the pic:

When's it due Porky?

 

Our civic leaders have decided that a concrete wall is not costing us enough cash, and have decided that it would be a fantastic way of spending shit loads of cash.

The idea is to start a "Wall of Fame" celebrating the vacuous world of celebrity that they aspire to, on the surface this is not a major expense, however they have already had a meeting with David Courtney (the 70s has been, not the gangster), who appears to own the words "of Fame", and charges exorbitantly for the privilege of anyone else using them. Sources suggest that the fee to designate a blank wall in Shoreham as a "Wall of Fame" would cost around £20k a year, just for the licence to use the name. They must have forgotten to tell us that part of the deal, after all, what's £20k a year these days, the cost of a nurse, but that would be a waste considering that the Tories have already decided to sell off our hospital, and one of these idiots is now living in one of the horrendous box houses built on the hospital site, which was a former workhouse, something that we could well be needing soon if they keep up idiotic spending ideas like this.

Just how many people will be coming to Shoreham to see a couple of names on a wall, maybe a few in the beginning, and it will give the local Councillors an opportunity to cut another ribbon (which are apparently only available in blue), but it is a complete waste of public money. People are having to rely on food banks, unemployment is returning to the levels of the Thatcher era, and homelessness is on the rise, but at least we'll have some names written on a wall, names that will be vetted by the local Tories before anyone else gets a "free vote", just like the footbridge, yes the footbridge, not the ferry bridge or any other stupid name, the bloody footbridge.

Just to show that I'm willing to take part and get my money's worth, I'd like to nominate Joe Orton, who, according to his diaries (iirc), in the weeks prior to his death, enjoyed visiting Shoreham in order to indulge in a bit of recreational activity in the local cottages.

 I just hope that they don't choose to honour our local MP with a star, the cost of cleaning the graffiti from it will cause the costs to spiral out of control.

 Don't believe their lies, the idea seems quite alright on the surface, but do we really want to be giving a big pile of our public money to the man responsible for some of the 1970s most heinous crimes against music in exchange for using a couple of words, I reckon I can think of a couple of words for this idea, and they're free..........

The second one's "off"

ATAB
K

What happens when you report an MP to the rozzers?

This:















Yes, as soon as you report an MP to the police, you start to receive death threats like these through the post, some will just be alone in the envelopes, and some will be in funerary cards, you will also get some in Xmas cards, which are opened by your kids.

It's ok though, the MP will make sure that the CCTV footage of the person sending this filth, disappears on it's way to the police station, and forget to mention this when he starts ranting about how squeaky clean he is and how it is you that is the evil one.

You will also receive threats of violence and other such pleasantries from a bunch of apes who believe the shit that they try and read in the Daily Mail, who will turn up at the address supplied to them by the MP in question and make up quotes for their story, as "F*ck off" isn't considered a suitable response to a Daily Mail story (except in reality it is the only answer to the shit they print).

It's quite funny that the twunt who tried to write this piece of shit, uses the word "nefarious", a pretty big word for someone who uses the word "appropirate" ARRRRRR! I expect that this was dictated to an illiterate arse who's only too happy to act as a hired goon to a corrupt politician, in exchange for brown nosing privileges and scraps from the master's table.

Yes, I'm "terrorising" people, and I'm "cowardly", that's why the author of this filth wore gloves so as to not leave any form of identification and ensured that any CCTV footage was "lost" somewhere along the way so that they could abuse my family and then hide. Well, you obviously know where I live, you sent these pathetic epistles to my home, let me know when you want to come over, and I'll take you on, one on one, you know, the way that cowards like you are never likely to have the balls for, because you either hunt in packs or hide like girls (that said, the Missus would take out any one of you without too much trouble).

You brought my family into play, if you have a problem with me, then come to me and tell me like a man, we can then deal with it. If you want some kind of covert war, then don't start whining when things start to happen unexpectedly, I can make plenty of Voodoo Dolls, they seem to scare you quite suitably, I expect that you're scared of your own shadow too, after all, shadows are where assassins hide aren't they?

Whenever you're ready, you know where I am..........

Hmmmm, Interesting.

Just been pointed at this:

Death threats, on his mobile? This is hilarious, I wonder who is threatening to kill this waste of skin, maybe it's "The Collective", you know the name shared by the pathetic bunch of local Tories who sent my family some rather nasty threats, but did not have the balls to sign a letter sent anonymously, calling me a coward. Oh the irony, "he's a coward, we're going to hide from him", well collective, bring it on you bunch of pussies, the sooner that you grow a pair and identify yourselves, the sooner that we can sort this out like grownups.

 

This also appeared, which made me laugh:

 

Bloody hell, that "6 Months" just flew by didn't it? As for sleeping, morphine and booze usually sees to that pretty well, however it appears to have a strange side effect of making you talk bollocks, "no wonder he's in custody", f*ck off, ADC may think that they have the police in their pockets, but we have laws in this country which ensure that in order to send someone to prison, they have to have committed a crime in the real world, and not just in the opium hazed view of an idiot who likes to make up stories.

 

I fail to see why this idiot would have to attend court or give two days of police statements, he spends all day every day in the pub, the police aren't interested in fairy tales, and lying in court is called perjury, so probably best that he doesn't tell his imaginary tales there either.

 

Nice to know that being a mate of this idiot is likely to make you kill yourself, I can see why, if that was all I had to call a friend, I'd probably off myself too, I do hope that his mate was a tory voter, one less of those is always a good thing.

 

I pissed myself when I read Barbarella Bornafella's whining about me writing horrible stuff about him/her, and thinking that it was unfair because I've never met/seen him/her, forgetting that the reason that this was done was because the twat chose to call me some pretty unsavoury names under the same circumstances, I was simply returning the favour, if you don't want a war, don't f*cking start one.

 

ATAB

K

 



If I opened an envelope, would Mendoza turn up to cut a f*cking ribbon?

Yes, While I was otherwise engaged, it appears that Porky Mike Mendacious officially opened Southwick Beach. After all it's only been there since the last f*cking ice age, why waste the opportunity of a bit of media whoring.

Here's the ribbon cutting ceremony of the famed "nappy, stella can and dog shit beach":

As you can see, there was a huge turnout for this event and it looks like Mendo took the opportunity to take his dog for a crap on the beach as well, only he seemed to have accidently put the leash on himself instead.

If only he could put a leash on his temper and aggressive nature. Yes, another local Tory councillor is under investigation for a physical assault on an innocent member of the public, I think that makes three so far, clearly an upstanding bunch of civic dignitaries. Mendacious was nicked and taken for questioning by the boys in blue after a vicious assault on the orders of his vile mates against a disabled person, clearly the sort of mettle that is required for the post of Adur's Bog Chain Wearing, Scissor Monkey.

They love to claim that other people are criminals and are guilty of crimes simply because an investigation is underway, so using their own yardstick, he is clearly already guilty and needs to be identified as a violent and dangerous COC.

Seems that he wants to make a big deal out of his claim that I accused him of being homophobic despite homophobia not being mentioned once during any of the four or five discernible words that he chose to shout in my face. I think that like his mates, he wants to protest a helluva lot about what he's not, I expect that he's not a racist either and has simply loads of black mates. One thing's for sure though, he clearly is living in cloud cuckoo land, according to Wikipedia he has proclaimed himself "Lord Michael Mendoza" after buying a novelty certificate off the internet what a total twunt, if he's a lord then I'm the f*cking pope.

Did I mention that he also claimed that regarding the assault, that if he had hit someone, that they would be on the floor, I can only assume that this is because they would be rolling around laughing at the fat f*ck trying to pretend that he is his imaginary great, great grandpa, when in reality he's just a sad old git with delusions of grandeur who would probably die if he had to run farther than the length of a buffet table.

Funny that he hasn't sought the same publicity from the local rags in order to publish the fact that he was nicked for being a thug, he seems to want it in heaps when it suits.

ATAB
K

Normal service will be resumed shortly.

Yes, I'm back, and even more pissed off than ever.

Our vile civic leaders are even more corrupt than first imagined, and boy have I got some top stories to tell about how they operate and just how low they'll stoop.

They may be impervious to a lot of things, but not the truth, and not free speech, and believe me, I intend to speak very freely.

I have now been violently assaulted three times by these lawless hooligans, and three times is too many, it will not happen again.

This time it's for keeps.........