If I opened an envelope, would Mendoza turn up to cut a f*cking ribbon?

Yes, While I was otherwise engaged, it appears that Porky Mike Mendacious officially opened Southwick Beach. After all it's only been there since the last f*cking ice age, why waste the opportunity of a bit of media whoring.

Here's the ribbon cutting ceremony of the famed "nappy, stella can and dog shit beach":

As you can see, there was a huge turnout for this event and it looks like Mendo took the opportunity to take his dog for a crap on the beach as well, only he seemed to have accidently put the leash on himself instead.

If only he could put a leash on his temper and aggressive nature. Yes, another local Tory councillor is under investigation for a physical assault on an innocent member of the public, I think that makes three so far, clearly an upstanding bunch of civic dignitaries. Mendacious was nicked and taken for questioning by the boys in blue after a vicious assault on the orders of his vile mates against a disabled person, clearly the sort of mettle that is required for the post of Adur's Bog Chain Wearing, Scissor Monkey.

They love to claim that other people are criminals and are guilty of crimes simply because an investigation is underway, so using their own yardstick, he is clearly already guilty and needs to be identified as a violent and dangerous COC.

Seems that he wants to make a big deal out of his claim that I accused him of being homophobic despite homophobia not being mentioned once during any of the four or five discernible words that he chose to shout in my face. I think that like his mates, he wants to protest a helluva lot about what he's not, I expect that he's not a racist either and has simply loads of black mates. One thing's for sure though, he clearly is living in cloud cuckoo land, according to Wikipedia he has proclaimed himself "Lord Michael Mendoza" after buying a novelty certificate off the internet what a total twunt, if he's a lord then I'm the f*cking pope.

Did I mention that he also claimed that regarding the assault, that if he had hit someone, that they would be on the floor, I can only assume that this is because they would be rolling around laughing at the fat f*ck trying to pretend that he is his imaginary great, great grandpa, when in reality he's just a sad old git with delusions of grandeur who would probably die if he had to run farther than the length of a buffet table.

Funny that he hasn't sought the same publicity from the local rags in order to publish the fact that he was nicked for being a thug, he seems to want it in heaps when it suits.

ATAB
K